The World Stood Still

My oldest brother Jim Bradshaw, "Browski," died last weekend, Saturday the 14th of November, 2009. He was the pilot of a life flight helicopter which malfunctioned and went down outside of Reno killing him and the two medics aboard.

My world stood still when my parents called to tell me the news. I thought it was a joke, even had to look up the story, to see his name in print to know the truth. I also had a strong, almost magnetic feeling that I needed to be with my family. I couldn't help but call all of my siblings. I wanted to have Dave with me. I wanted to check to see if Carson was okay, I wanted to touch everyone and cry together and feel safe. I wanted to get rid of the nagging anxious feeling I had.

I just returned from Browski's memorial service. It was good to hear my Dad and brothers share stories about time spent with Jim. I know they agonized over how to relay their feelings and they were amazing. I learned that all of the men in my family are the same in their kindness and hospitality, and in their concern for showing you a good time when you visit them in their homes. And I know that all of them have such big hearts and so much love to give.

After the service the family and close friends joined at my parents' house. The place was packed, it was unbelieveable the amount of friends who came to show their support, all these people who came for my Mom, came to meet my family, came to grieve together. Somewhere in the evening Linus shared a photo tribute to Browski and the room filled in with people sitting everywhere to see pictures of my goofy faced brother and the life and times he had. At that moment the world stood still once again. Two groups of people so incredibly different, there to share in the memory of my brother. Jenn said it right, "it was like world peace there in that room."

I don't know why Jim's helicopter crashed, I'm trying not to dwell on the details of it all. I know that accidents happen and that sometimes we don't get as much time here as we hope to have. I know that there is a spirit who comforts us in times of sorrow such as this. Comfort and peace are the prayers sent up in a time such as this and I have felt strengthened because of the those offered on my behalf. I know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, I know that. I can feel his love all around me, even in simple things when I stop to take notice. I know that God places people in our lives to laugh with us, and at times like this, to cry with us too. I also know that my family will not be the same without Browski, but that we will pull through. Most importantly, I know that I will see that mug again.

The world stood still, but it will go on.

Confessions

I've been eating all of my kids' decent Halloween candy when they aren't looking. We all do that right? But there are other things you don't know...

I always eat cookie dough, the raw eggs haven't killed me, which means it's making me stronger right? Raw cookie dough is making me stronger. Huh. Take that MOM!

I have really callused feet, so bad in fact that I'm embarrassed to ever go get a pedicure. I never have.

I LOVE reading The Pioneer Women's blog and I'm pretty sure she and I would be best friends if we knew each other. As it turns out, I think all of her other readers feel the same way.

I neglected my daughter while shopping last week and she fell and split the bridge of her nose open requiring 8 stitches, a few days before we'd scheduled family portraits no less. I think it's a sign. A sign that I should always be allowed to shop alone and I should never have to do family portraits.

I hate having portraits done. Oh the stress. And oh, my googly eyes.

I like helping others when I can but I have a hard time ever letting other people do things for me.

I detest shopping for gifts. I'm a horrible present picker-outer. However, I really dig gift wrapping. I wish Brett would do all of our Christmas shopping right this minute so I could turn on the Carpenters Christmas album and get wrappin'!

I lick the brownie batter spoon, AND I often drink out of the milk carton and eat directly out of the ice cream container.

I drool when I nap.

Also, I hate doing dishes more than any other household chore and I will clean everything around them before touching them. Then, I will leave the dish pile for Brett to clean, because he is much speedier and doesn't mind cleaning if I do the cooking. Yep, he rocks!

I can't watch t.v. late at night without eating ice cream. Western Family's Mudpie is hands down my favorite flav. Why I am out of it right now I do not know...

So, what secrets are you hiding?

Happy Halloween!

Here are a few shots for the Grandparents of my creepy little critters...

Quinner, this time as a jolly pirate instead of Gangsta Waldo.

Izzy Bean as a little ladybug, completely enthralled with her plastic toy bug prize.

Anna, no doubt casting spells on her frightened little sister, not unlike her Aunt Caralee.

Yep, I saved the best for last. This one is definately coming out when Anna brings her boyfriends home to meet the parents. Naw, I think I'll just have a glossy 11x14 of it hanging in my house from now on.

Hope you all had a Happy Halloween! By the way, did anyone get any Sugar Daddys? Do they have those anymore???