The World Stood Still

My oldest brother Jim Bradshaw, "Browski," died last weekend, Saturday the 14th of November, 2009. He was the pilot of a life flight helicopter which malfunctioned and went down outside of Reno killing him and the two medics aboard.

My world stood still when my parents called to tell me the news. I thought it was a joke, even had to look up the story, to see his name in print to know the truth. I also had a strong, almost magnetic feeling that I needed to be with my family. I couldn't help but call all of my siblings. I wanted to have Dave with me. I wanted to check to see if Carson was okay, I wanted to touch everyone and cry together and feel safe. I wanted to get rid of the nagging anxious feeling I had.

I just returned from Browski's memorial service. It was good to hear my Dad and brothers share stories about time spent with Jim. I know they agonized over how to relay their feelings and they were amazing. I learned that all of the men in my family are the same in their kindness and hospitality, and in their concern for showing you a good time when you visit them in their homes. And I know that all of them have such big hearts and so much love to give.

After the service the family and close friends joined at my parents' house. The place was packed, it was unbelieveable the amount of friends who came to show their support, all these people who came for my Mom, came to meet my family, came to grieve together. Somewhere in the evening Linus shared a photo tribute to Browski and the room filled in with people sitting everywhere to see pictures of my goofy faced brother and the life and times he had. At that moment the world stood still once again. Two groups of people so incredibly different, there to share in the memory of my brother. Jenn said it right, "it was like world peace there in that room."

I don't know why Jim's helicopter crashed, I'm trying not to dwell on the details of it all. I know that accidents happen and that sometimes we don't get as much time here as we hope to have. I know that there is a spirit who comforts us in times of sorrow such as this. Comfort and peace are the prayers sent up in a time such as this and I have felt strengthened because of the those offered on my behalf. I know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, I know that. I can feel his love all around me, even in simple things when I stop to take notice. I know that God places people in our lives to laugh with us, and at times like this, to cry with us too. I also know that my family will not be the same without Browski, but that we will pull through. Most importantly, I know that I will see that mug again.

The world stood still, but it will go on.