Tuesday, April 28, 2009

A Few Simple Things

I'm sure that we each have a mental list of things that would make the world a better place for us. I was just in the shower doing my deep thinking, and yes sadly, this is generally as deep as it gets for me, and here are a few items that would really blow my skirt up:

  • Baskin Robbins quality peanut butter and chocolate ice cream in my grocer's freezer section. Well, better yet, in a bowl, in my hand.
  • nightgowns without lace and embroidered flowers, with sleeves, and in colors and prints other than floral pastels-ugh!
  • clothing that doesn't pinch me off mid-abdomen, doesn't need to be pulled back up or yanked back down, doesn't fit like a tent, and again, in colors that don't make me want to gag
  • a complimentary brazilian bikini wax with c-section (administered following anesthesia of course) Seriously doctors, this would save our husbands from the humiliation of hearing us retell our pre-op horror stories. Yeah, you kinda wanna hear, but then you don't huh?
  • a sort of "get out of jail free" card but one that allows me to get out of the next ten weeks instead. God, if you're reading, this would really be a good incentive if you think about it. Hand one of those out occasionally and you'd get a lot more people signing up to accept the babies you have waiting around up there!
  • Another thing, a "go-go gadget" chocolate milk dispensing finger would be pretty awesome. One that dispenses mocha frappaccinos, and another that dispenses Dr. Pepper...mmm..now we're talking.
  • Also, I'd love an ice dispenser that shoots out the little pebble ice. You know, the crunchy ice pellets you get at Pizza Hut!? Yeah, I worked at a call center for 2 years JUST because they had one of those ice dispensers. Why can't Whirlpool make a home model with one of these?
  • Playdough flesh. Wouldn't it be terrific if we could squish our bodies around to be different shapes? For tonight I'd move my turtle shell to my back so I could sleep on my belly. And after the baby's done in there, I'd smooth my abs and mould them to perfection. I wouldn't need to pay someone to fix up my imperfections either! Although, I might dry out easier...this one would take some thinking...

Okay, so what's on your list?


Steve & Kim said...

I like the "Get out of Jail card" idea. I haven't been through the last couple weeks of preg. but I am scared. :-)

Holly Goodman said...

Ha ha, I love your nightgown issues. You should let me make you one. I have a good pattern and we could use whatever materials suited you. How 'bout some sassy red satin? ( :

I'd like to wave a magic wand and see a fence appear around my yard and my garden dirt to be usable for actually growing anything.

Katie said...

Don't you have Haagen Daaz in your grocer's freezer? It's peanut butter chocolate rocks 31 Flavor's butt!

Rich and Tyra said...

Ha Ha, You are too funny! I am loving the way your mind is thinking right now!

Bre said...

I would like pants that fit. And I don't just mean prego pants. I want a pair of pants I don't have to hem! I could also really use a live in masseuse. And how about another car. Naomi told Trent she would like it if we would get another car that is pink and yellow.

Reno said...

I would like a single-brand (Diet Pepsi) fountain beverage station.

I would also enjoy PlayDoh flesh. Although I can imagine it would look pretty bizarre when you stand up after a long subway ride and find your entire midsection smushed up around your waistband. Also, would I have to re-mold my buttocks after standing up?

I have questions.

Tracy said...

You always crack me up! But I would love to be able to mold my body to look just right!