For Jill on your Special Day...

Puma comes and Puma goes

Puma wears pumps and pantyhose

Puma whispers in Brett's ear

he smells something funny, Brett dealt it, it's clear

Puma, he sometimes cries in his beer

over lost love, his dead cat, and the scent from Brett's rear

But no not today folks, Puma's beaming with pride

Jill's graduating, finally, his friend, and his ride (if she can get her Mom to come out and push their car back!)

Jill has earned her Ph D-how do you spell this?

Who knows, don't ask me!

But finally she's done it, and gets to move on

no more heckling the staff, no more drafts to write on

She's a doctor for sure and Puma's so giddy

she can write him a script to get out of the city

To take a vacation, get away from his problems

Especially the scent coming from some people's bottoms

From the tops of our heads to the places where we stink

We love you Jill, so much more than you think

We're so proud of you, and Puma is too

For what you've accomplished, except for what you did in the mu-u-udroom.

Congratulations Dr. Jill!
Rawr!